Alright peeps, this is going to be my last post on Blogger. Renovation for my new home is almost complete so it is the right time to move to the new place. See you there...



Oh yes, this is the way to my new home

I used to think that the extremely stupid can only be found in Singapore but today I discovered that this species of human can also be found further down south in Australia! As usual, you can easily identify them from their keen interest in high-tech gadgets and yet having zero knowledge about it.

My nightmare today was an idiotic Polish-born Aussie dickhead who wanted me to help him recover 3 Megabytes of his PDA's built-in storage that was stolen by the PDA's Operating System. So this is what happened...

Me: "Thank you for calling Technical Support..."
Dickhead: "How come it is stated in my PDA's memory status that my PDA is still using 3MB of storage when I already removed all the files and programs?"
Me: "The 3MB is actually used by the PDA's Operating System to run the system files in the background."
Dickhead: "But I do not have any files!"
Me: "Sir, It is like your computer, even if you have nothing installed in it except Windows, your OS will still reserve a small amount of your storage to run the background files."
Dickhead: "No!" *in his fucking Polish accent* "I want my 3MB back!"
Me: "Sir, the formula is the same like your 1.44MB Floppy Disk or your 700MB CD-R. You can only get 1.38MB and 680+MB of total storage because the rest was reserved or used-up by the OS!"
Dickhead: "No, this is not good!"

*OMFG!! Not good? It is obvious that this donkey knows nothing about computer. This is basic computer knowledge for god sake? oh well, another fucking son of a gun..*

Me: "Ok sir, Your PDA's total storage is 128MB; The Operating System took about 30MB+ leaving you with 90MB+ free right?"
Dickhead: "Right!"
Me: "You still have about 90MB+. The 3MB is being used up by your PDA's OS is a very small amount. You don?t have to worry."
Dickhead: "But I don't want my 3MB to be used up!"

*FUCK! You should thank your lucky stars that you are in Australia otherwise the PDA will go straight down your throat!*

Me: "Ok sir, let me guide you to do a factory reset on your PDA back to it's default settings. After the factory reset if it still fail to satisfy your expectation, you have to accept that it is part of the PDA?s process."
Dickhead: "Ok!"

*After performing the factory reset*

Dickhead: "Still the same! I still lost my 3MB..."
Me: "Then it is part of the PDA's process."
Dickhead: "No... cannot be!"

*There was a sudden massive muscle spasm on both my testicles... and I felt like a huge time bomb is about to explode when...*

Me: "Ok Sir, I've got a test unit PDA over here which is the same model as yours. Now let me check on the amount used up by my PDA's operating system compare to yours."

*Same PDA model but all the other informations that I'm about to provide him is fake!*

Me: "On my PDA, There are only about 80MB+ of free storage and the amount used up by the OS is more than 4MB!"
Dickhead: "Oh really? So indeed it is true that the OS will reserve a small amount... thank you very much for the explanation."

Conclusion: WTF!!

Fancy drinking banana-flavoured coffee? Try Mistra, Nescafe's newest coffee range with exotic flavours ranging from caramel banana to tiramisu!

Housed in a cute little hourglass bottle, the Mistra is not a cheap drink. Priced at 2.90 per bottle, this drink is far more expensive than your normal soft drink. But price aside, Mistra is not too bad for a coffee with weird flavours.

I didn't get to try the tiramisu flavour but the caramel banana was simply awesome! You can feel a mixture of banana and coffee blending together very well in the drink. An innovative move by Nescafe to diversify it's coffee business.

Got an art assignment due soon? Not sure what to do? Need fresh idea to kick start your career in art and design? Fear not because today, I will show you how to make a simple art work feels and look professional. In just 5 simple steps, you should be able to present your soon to be famous sand sculpture to the world. Ready to start? Let's do it.

Start by creating 2 big hills and it's valley in the middle. Make sure both hills are of the same size. Remember to make the valley as deep as possible.

Next, we will create the tunnel. Gently use your middle finger to create an opening between the mountain range.

We need to create a road into the tunnel. You can use a cylinder-shaped object like the above to make the road.

Remember to make the hilltop of the 2 hills as sharp as possible by using your fingers. You can use you thumb and your index finger to sharpen the tip.

There you have it, the perfect sand sculpture that will catch the eye of every art lover. Follow my 5 simple steps and you can never go wrong with your art work. Till next time...

Ever experience emergency nature call when driving? Well I did today and I can tell you that the feeling of having a fucking huge bomb waiting to explode up my arse is not something you would want to have. No sign of restroom for the next 10 kilometers makes my journey home from work today one of the most exciting journey ever. Imagine having to keep your eyes on the road, hands on the steering wheel, legs on the accelerator/brake and at the same time trying very hard to prevent the arse from exploding! Now this is what I call real multitasking.

And my misery did not end there. Along the way, the road users, the traffic lights and the music in my car each took turns to torment my already misery stomach. The time was around 4 in the afternoon and usually it is the best time to drive but today out of the blue, all the drivers decided to come out for a spin. Most of these morons are doing 50kmph and they kept blocking me from overtaking them. How often do you see old fucks doing their leisure driving on the highway at 4 in the afternoon?

Anyway, when I finally got rid of all the slow driving old fucks; it was the traffic light?s turn to test my patience. Waiting 40 seconds for the lights to turn green is like waiting for 40 hours. And all of a sudden the cibai radio DJ who usually plays slow music decided to pump up the tempo and started playing a set of 4-5 fast beat songs at one go. During that time, I can feel my entire stomach and intestine twisting and grooving to the beat of the music and the time bomb down at my ass about to go!!!